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Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics: “approval seekers” “become alcoholics, marry them or both” “addicted to excitement” “dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment” “very low sense of self-esteem” “Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.”
“Adult Children of Alcoholics . . . page 14 “guess at what normal behavior is” “lie when it we be just as easy to tell the truth” “have difficulty with intimate relationships” “constantly seek approval” “are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved” “are impulsive”
page 70 “A constructively committed relationship is based on truth and honesty. Dependability is extremely important. If you say you will do something, do it, and if you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.” p 213 “Your partner reached a point where she or he realized that her or his relationship difficulties were an internal rather than external problem. . . off and on painful affiliations were repetitions of the unhappy relationships experienced with her or his alcoholic parent” “Your adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA) made the conscious decision to seek an individual capable of having a committed relationship . . .”
National Association for Children of Alcoholics believes that no child of an alcoholic should grow up in isolation and without support.
1. Alcoholism affects the entire family.
Children of alcoholics may be hampered by their inability to grow in developmentally healthy ways.
2. Many people report being exposed to alcoholism in their families.
Almost one in five adult Americans (18%) lived with an alcoholic while growing up.
Roughly one in eight American adult drinkers is alcoholic or experiences problems due to the use of alcohol. The cost to society is estimated at in excess of $166 billion each year.
There are an estimated 26.8 million COAs in the United States. Preliminary research suggests that over 11 million are under the age of 18.
3. There is strong, scientific evidence that alcoholism tends to run in families. Children of alcoholics are more at risk for alcoholism and other drug abuse than children of non-alcoholics.
Children of alcoholics are four times more likely than non-COAs to develop alcoholism.
Alcohol expectancies appear to be one of the mechanisms explaining the relationship between paternal alcoholism and heavy drinking among offspring during college.
Family interaction patterns also may influence the COA's risk for alcohol abuse. It has been found that families with an alcoholic parent displayed more negative family interaction during problem-solving discussions than in non-alcoholic families.
Children of alcoholics are more likely than non-COAs to marry into families in which alcoholism is prevalent.
Parental alcoholism influences adolescent substance use through several different pathways including stress, negative affect and decreased parental monitoring. Negative affect and impaired parental monitoring are associated with adolescent's joining in a peer network that supports drug use behavior.
4. Alcoholism usually has strong negative effects on marital relationships.
5. Alcohol is associated with a substantial proportion of human violence, and perpetrators are often under the influence of alcohol.
Alcohol is a key factor in 68% of manslaughters, 62% of assaults, 54% of murders and attempted murders, 48% of robberies, and 44% of burglaries.
Studies of family violence frequently document high rates of alcohol and other drug involvement.
Compared with non-alcoholic families, alcoholic families demonstrate poorer problem-solving abilities, both among the parents and within the family as a whole. These poor communication and problem-solving skills may be mechanisms through which lack of cohesion and increased conflict develop and escalate in alcoholic families.
6. Based on clinical observations and preliminary research, a relationship between parental alcoholism and child abuse is indicated in a large proportion of child abuse cases.
7. Children of alcoholics exhibit symptoms of depression and anxiety more than children of non-alcoholics.
In general, COAs appear to have lower self-esteem than non-COAs in childhood, adolescence and young adulthood.
Children of alcoholics exhibit elevated rates of psychopathology. Anxiety, depression, and externalizing behavior disorders are more common among COAs than among children of non-alcoholics. .
8. Children of alcoholics experience greater physical and mental health problems and higher health care costs than children from non-alcoholic families.
Inpatient admission rates for substance abuse are triple that of other children.
Inpatient admission rates for mental disorders are almost double that of other children.
9. Children of alcoholics score lower on tests measuring verbal ability.
10. Children of alcoholics often have difficulties in school.
11. Children of alcoholics have greater difficulty with abstraction and conceptual reasoning.
Abstraction and conceptual reasoning play an important role in problem solving, whether the problems are academic or are situation related to the problems of life. Therefore, children of alcoholics might require very concrete explanations and instructions.
12. Children of alcoholics may benefit from adult efforts which help them to:
Develop autonomy and independence.
Develop a strong social orientation and social skills.
Engage in acts of "required helpfulness."
Develop a close bond with a care-giver.
Cope successfully with emotionally hazardous experiences.
Perceive their experiences constructively, even if those experiences cause pain or suffering, and gain, early in life, other people's positive attention.
Develop day-to-day coping strategies.
13. Children can be protected from many problems associated with growing up in an alcoholic family.
14. Maternal alcohol consumption during any time of pregnancy can cause alcohol related birth defects or alcohol related neurological deficits.
The rate of drinking during pregnancy appears to be increasing. Prenatal alcohol effects have been detected at moderate levels of alcohol consumption by non-alcoholic women. Even though a mother is not an alcoholic, her child may not be spared the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure.
People with FAS demonstrate growth deficits, morphologic abnormalities, mental retardation, and behavioral difficulties. Secondary effects of FAS among adolescents and adults include mental health problems, disrupted schooling (dropping out or being suspended or expelled), trouble with the law, dependent living as an adult, and problems with employment.
